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Post by tammyof3 on Jan 17, 2015 1:26:29 GMT -5
I just needed a place to say in struggling with letting it go. I was asked to be in a ministry I feel God calling me into. I didn't approach the lady she approached me saying she believed God was steering her that way. I was excited that God was working it that way. The lady is younger than me and I knew her but not extremely well but was good with getting to know get better. It was a moms ministry. I opened my home and had about 65 moms in my home every other month. I missed one leadership meeting. Sent a fb message when I realized a few days later it was at night. She did not call me before the meeting nor after to ask why I didn't show. About two days after she emails me that I am totally out of the group in one sentence email, immediately blocks me out of all things with the group. I sent an email asking what's up I get a long email that I am not good enough but then how I do everything she just listed I didn't do. Dh and I take it to a couple we view as mentors and the husband reads it and says it makes no sense. On one hand she says I never show up on the other hand she is saying thank you for all the times I hosted everything. Now she has become best friends with the marriage pastor and his wife and has been promoted to over see alot of stuff with moms and such despite our church having a 4 yr requirement that she had not met. She is very much against me and has said so. I have no clue what I did. This is not about missing one meeting. I am on leadership for mops program at another church but it hurts that I am dealing with this at my church. I know to trust God to deal with it and to give it to Him. I feel like I am constantly giving it to Him and trying not to be hurt or bothered. It is something I just wish I didn't have to grow through! Any one been there done that? Just need to here from other ladies:) I know we have all dealt with imperfect people lol.
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Post by Madrede3 on Jan 17, 2015 7:31:23 GMT -5
Face to face...after prayer, open heart...ask her directly?
I'm sorry.
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btid
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 139 
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Post by btid on Jan 17, 2015 7:42:23 GMT -5
That is so tough. Satan works extra extra extra hard at these very good good good programs that are so wonderful for moms! I would do ANYTHING to find a group like yours. 12 or 13 years ago I was on a MOPS steering team and it got ugly with one of the moms and my cousin is a deluxe control freak with extreme issues. The other mom on the steering team dropped out and the rest of us just let my cousin control everything. Not very healthy but its how we did it. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!!! You did a wonderful thing, and it just doesn't make sense. Just don't get bitter like I have become about women. I just feel like women are all jealous of each other and really just hate each other. I pray unceasingly for a woman with a Titus 2 heart to be my friend and mentor with lots of grace and forgiveness of all my faults. I am so very sorry that this happened to you. I know you have very much helped many moms!! Can you do like Madrede suggested? The Matthew 18:15 thing?
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Post by mamamunchkin on Jan 17, 2015 8:28:18 GMT -5
I know it hard when people hurt us, especially when it happens in church where we think people are supposed to be better than that. Truth is the church is full of sinners too.
I'm so sorry your heart was hurt by this woman. But please seek Her out. Pray and then sit down with her one on one and make sure that it isn't just a misunderstanding.
I have prayed for the situation.
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erinjo
Mod Squad 
His steadfast love is better than life!
Posts: 1,071
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Post by erinjo on Jan 17, 2015 9:51:09 GMT -5
I agree that you need to sit with her face to face. I know that's super hard. I am currently avoiding a face-to-face confrontation, so please know that I'm all plank-eyed on this one.  I am so sorry you have been hurt. I would be hurt too.  |
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Post by bronte73 on Jan 17, 2015 12:21:45 GMT -5
I think I would ask to meet with her and if that doesn't work, then I would ask to meet with her and your pastor with all your fact in order. I don't mean that in a "let me get back at her way" but because if she treated you this way, she will do it to other people. This is NOT the way you lead people and it will ultimately hurt the women she is trying to minister to. If you have an issue with someone, you talk to them and try to work it out. You don't arbitrarily tell them in a one sentence email they are done.
I don't know this woman at all, but her actions seem very immature to me.
I would be very hurt too, but forgiving will help you. It's okay to have to keep making that decision because it was hurtful and unfair. Just because you forgive somebody doesn't mean that makes what they did okay. It also doesn't necessarily mean you have to just let it go and not address the issue -because there IS an issue that needs to be addressed. If this woman is in ministry leadership, then she needs some pointers - again, not in a nasty way but in a for the good of the whole ministry/church kind of way.
We just had something like this at our church. The woman who was the head of the nursery for years was just ugly to people - over and over and over - to the point where young moms were afraid of her and not putting their kids in the nursery and anyone else who used the space on other days was harrassed. The church leadership - after numerous conversations, etc. - finally replaced her. It's sad too because she was very faithful and took great care of the babies, but when you are in ministry leadership you can't be ugly to people like that and refuse to change. Dealing with people is always so messy and sometimes, I think church people are messier than the unbelieving world! :\
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Post by tammyof3 on Jan 18, 2015 8:32:58 GMT -5
Thanks so much for allowing me to fully speak it out. I don't want to start a gossip thing at church. I have already spoke to her face to face - yes that was hard but I truly feel I'm growing through this so that part is good. She simply said they feel like they made the right decision and turned away from me.
I do not feel like I'm growing bitter just confused as to what the real issue is. If I did do something I can't exactly apologize bc I don't know what it is. More of a I truly believe I am trusting God for Him to work out the issue but I am somewhat impatient Sigh! God's timing often feels so late while we are going through it.
Today is the day of the new mom group starting for school age moms this was the group I was suppose to lead with the woman who is leading it. I just feel sad that things went the way they did with my view point of I did nothing that I can think of wrong.
On the flip side at the other church they are constantly telling me how great I am in my leadership role. This group is truly fabulous! The group has such a great spirit together. It's wonderful to be a part of. We have 170 moms in the Mops group and 70 moms in the Momsnext group.
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