sarahw
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 136
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:05:01 GMT -5
Post by sarahw on Jan 7, 2015 13:05:01 GMT -5
So I have a "friend". I have known her since high school. We have had our up and downs.
She was in my wedding. And then I didn't hear from her for several years. Then she contacted me about 7 years ago, I was in her wedding the year following. Very limited contact her first year of marriage but I let it go. Then he dh died and we saw each other frequently. And two years ago she stopped returning my phone calls. I ran into her 18 months ago and she said "oh my, we need to have lunch". I came home and sent her an e-mail and facebook pm with my dates. Nothing. Her grandma died 6 months ago, she reached out we talked for a few days and then nothing. I am pretty sure without facebook we would have no contact.
And then I received a wedding invitation. I know she was dating this guy and am happy for her. But seriously the last two year we have had no contact except with her grandma died and that was electronic.
Do I go?
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:12:25 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Madrede3 on Jan 7, 2015 13:12:25 GMT -5
Yes. I would go. Base it on th e depth of the relationship and not the number of times of contact.
Perhaps she feels closer to you because you've been a support to her during very difficult times?
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:13:46 GMT -5
Post by citylights on Jan 7, 2015 13:13:46 GMT -5
I don't think that I would go. If you are expecting something to come of this between you & she, then you might be setting yourself up for a letdown. On the other hand, if you go into this w/o expectation, and just attend her wedding, wish her well .... then you've done what the invite has invited you to do. Sorry.
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mdebbie
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 93
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:33:21 GMT -5
Post by mdebbie on Jan 7, 2015 13:33:21 GMT -5
Do you want to go? I have a really hard time maintaining friendships when I don't have regular external contact. (Seeing them at church etc..) I have several longer term friends who I have relationships involving sporadic close periods. In which case I would certainly invite them in that type of situation. I would be delighted for them to come but not upset if they didn't. Don't expect the relationship to change. If it is draining or dissapointing to you as it stands, don't go. If you can accept the relationship and enjoy it as it is, go if it is convenient and you like weddings.
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Kinsa
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 787
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:40:36 GMT -5
Post by Kinsa on Jan 7, 2015 13:40:36 GMT -5
I probably would not go, but I would still send a nice card with a handwritten note in it, plus probably send a gift.
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lucy
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 1,353
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WWYD???
Jan 7, 2015 13:43:12 GMT -5
Post by lucy on Jan 7, 2015 13:43:12 GMT -5
friends are precious ----i would go
travel, work, kids, chores, family....all take up time. sounds like both of you have had ups and downs.....and sometimes, only an old friend can bring joy to someone.
i have friends from 40 yrs ago....we might only see each other every 5 yrs, but when we get together, it's just like jr high. (nick names and all)
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cshoremom
Mod Squad
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Posts: 4,170
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Post by cshoremom on Jan 8, 2015 19:40:24 GMT -5
My first instinct was to say " You really don't HAVE to go"…send a card and a nice note…
But honestly, you are still friends… Life just gets in the way… Someday, things may slow down… and you can maybe actually see each other more, get together more frequently, etc… in the meantime, nurture what you have… and attending her wedding is a good way to do that…. I think I would go.
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WWYD???
Jan 8, 2015 21:55:42 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by mamamunchkin on Jan 8, 2015 21:55:42 GMT -5
Only if you want to go...
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erinjo
Mod Squad
His steadfast love is better than life!
Posts: 1,071
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WWYD???
Jan 8, 2015 21:59:40 GMT -5
Post by erinjo on Jan 8, 2015 21:59:40 GMT -5
Personally, I probably wouldn't go, but that's just me being antisocial. LOL. I really am not sure there's a right or wrong answer here. Go or don't, unless you feel that God is leading you a specific way. In which case, I recommend obeying.
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WWYD???
Jan 8, 2015 22:10:45 GMT -5
Post by Januinely~me on Jan 8, 2015 22:10:45 GMT -5
Do you want to go? I have a really hard time maintaining friendships when I don't have regular external contact. (Seeing them at church etc..) I have several longer term friends who I have relationships involving sporadic close periods. In which case I would certainly invite them in that type of situation. I would be delighted for them to come but not upset if they didn't.
Don't expect the relationship to change. If it is draining or dissapointing to you as it stands, don't go. If you can accept the relationship and enjoy it as it is, go if it is convenient and you like weddings. This.
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lambs
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 111
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Post by lambs on Jan 9, 2015 9:08:45 GMT -5
If it was near me and I COULD go, I would probably go. If I had to travel and/or spend a lot of money to get there, I probably would just send a card/gift and nice note.
Honestly, my best friend from high school probably could have written your post. I haven't been the best about staying in touch but I do have the BEST intentions. Life happens (on both sides) and... I don't know... I just know that I love my friend dearly and... when we ARE together, it's like we were never separated (by time, distance, death, new life... etc).
If you're wondering if something happened, maybe ask her. I bet it's just 'stuff' tho. Right, wrong or indifferent... life really gets in the way sometimes (coming from the queen of excuses).
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Laney
Mod Squad
Posts: 1,738
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WWYD???
Jan 9, 2015 21:01:43 GMT -5
Post by Laney on Jan 9, 2015 21:01:43 GMT -5
Honestly, my best friend from high school probably could have written your post. I haven't been the best about staying in touch but I do have the BEST intentions. Life happens (on both sides) and... I don't know... I just know that I love my friend dearly and... when we ARE together, it's like we were never separated (by time, distance, death, new life... etc).
My Matron of Honor & Maid of Honor both could have written your post too. I love them both so much but I don't do friendships well when life gets hectic (and it is always hectic).
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