|
|
Post by bronte73 on Jan 9, 2017 17:15:57 GMT -5
I emailed a friend yesterday afternoon to see if she wanted to do lunch or dinner and a movie today since I am off of school due to a waterline break. We had talked about doing something Saturday but we are doing my mom's birthday that evening. So, I have this program that let's me know if someone opens an email (it's mostly for work things to make sure emails get where they need to go - I always forget to uncheck the box on personal email). She has looked at the email 15x (a widget actually tells me exact numbers for some reason) and never responded. I get that she has some anxiety issues, but how hard is it to email back that she isn't available???  I just think that is weird and maybe a bit rude, too. |
|
BC
Oldies but Goodies
"For all Your goodness I will keep on singing, ten thousand reasons for my heart to find."
Posts: 1,169
|
Post by BC on Jan 9, 2017 18:02:11 GMT -5
Maybe a little different point of view might help? Maybe she has some stuff going on and hasn't yet figured out if she's able to make it or not? Or maybe she's dealing with some personal stuff right now and isn't feeling able to be social. I almost never reply immediately to emails. I like to have time to think/pray about a response. Or talk to my husband/look at the calendar/check my kids' schedules if it's something like a get-together. The read-receipts on emails always make me nervous. It makes me feel strange to be watched or tracked. And, it would stress me out to see when folks read emails that I sent. I might be tempted to get all in my head about why they haven't replied yet, or why they haven't opened it yet. Perhaps consider taking it off your personal email account. Then, it's emotional energy you won't have to spend.  Yay for having a day off. We have two days off from school (snow), but my son's school sends assignments for them to do at least 4 hours per day, so they don't have to have a make-up day. (Which I kinda love. ) |
|
cshoremom
Mod Squad 
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Posts: 4,170 
|
Post by cshoremom on Jan 9, 2017 19:10:40 GMT -5
Maybe a little different point of view might help? Maybe she has some stuff going on and hasn't yet figured out if she's able to make it or not? Or maybe she's dealing with some personal stuff right now and isn't feeling able to be social. I almost never reply immediately to emails. I like to have time to think/pray about a response. Or talk to my husband/look at the calendar/check my kids' schedules if it's something like a get-together. The read-receipts on emails always make me nervous. It makes me feel strange to be watched or tracked. And, it would stress me out to see when folks read emails that I sent. I might be tempted to get all in my head about why they haven't replied yet, or why they haven't opened it yet. Perhaps consider taking it off your personal email account. Then, it's emotional energy you won't have to spend. I agree with all of what BC said. Though I would probably feel the same as you do, Bronte… I'd take those numbers of "views" personally, I know I would! |
|
love3c
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 129
|
Post by love3c on Jan 9, 2017 19:30:00 GMT -5
The thought that someone is counting my opening of an email is kind of creepy.
I open emails tons of times because as I clean out my inbox, I scroll through all of them. The next one automatically opens. That could account for the #. Or, she has a crappy phone like I do, and when you try to open something, it gives it to you bunches of time. The other day I ended up with 84 browsers open trying to open one article.
I think the decision to believe she is being rude is overstepping.
|
|
|
|
Post by bronte73 on Jan 9, 2017 20:17:02 GMT -5
I just want to be clear - I don't go and count how many times someone opens the email. It just shows in the little widget thing. And I do realize that people open things multiple times, especially if they are cleaning out their inboxes. I don't necessarily BELIEVE she was being rude, but it FEELS that way. I guess, to me, if someone called you with an invitation, you'd respond - yes, no or I need to check - not never respond at all. To me, email is the same thing. I was asking if she could do something TODAY. My son and I share cars and he wanted to do things and I had no idea really, if she was going to respond at the last minute or not today. Since it's now 8:12, I'm guessing the answer is no at this point! lol She emails me about cat sitting. I always try to respond within a day (unless it's Sunday when I am not online) because I don't want to leave her hanging. I guess, with my work, reading and processing emails is something I do on a regular basis. My only point in saying she opened it 15x was she obviously saw it. I'm not angry, and she struggles with anxiety/overwhelm so I don't take it personally like she doesn't like me or something. But I found it weird. Apparently, I am alone in that feeling which is okay. |
|
cshoremom
Mod Squad
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Posts: 4,170
|
Post by cshoremom on Jan 9, 2017 21:44:43 GMT -5
I think what Lisa is saying is that the phone or the email could be automatically "opening" the email and counting it as a "view". She may not be opening, looking at and pondering it 15 x.
I never gave that a thought , Lisa. Good point.
|
|
|
|
Post by purpleowl on Jan 9, 2017 21:56:10 GMT -5
Yeah, I think there are a number of reasonable explanations that wouldn't be rude. Not responding, sure, rude, or maybe she just forgot (despite what your widget indicates). I get where you're coming from, though; you're trying to make plans and you just want an answer. I've been on both sides of this type of scenario!
Maybe next time include something like "let me know by 10 AM if you can do something since we'll need to figure out who gets the car when" or "I hope we can do something tomorrow, but if I don't hear from you by 10 AM then we'll need to choose another day."
|
|
|
|
Post by bronte73 on Jan 10, 2017 7:38:27 GMT -5
I think what Lisa is saying is that the phone or the email could be automatically "opening" the email and counting it as a "view". She may not be opening, looking at and pondering it 15 x. I never gave that a thought , Lisa. Good point. Since I don't have email on my phone, I didn't think of that either. Thanks for pointing it out, Lisa. And in my earlier post I was just responding, not to just Lisa in particular. I also didn't want anyone to think I was obsessively counting email openings either which would be kind of weird of me! And I really am fine if people don't think the same way I do about this. As I said, with my work, opening and responding to emails is part of what I do everyday, so I may just think differently about it for that reason. |
|
|
|
Post by bronte73 on Jan 10, 2017 7:40:32 GMT -5
Yeah, I think there are a number of reasonable explanations that wouldn't be rude. Not responding, sure, rude, or maybe she just forgot (despite what your widget indicates). I get where you're coming from, though; you're trying to make plans and you just want an answer. I've been on both sides of this type of scenario! Maybe next time include something like "let me know by 10 AM if you can do something since we'll need to figure out who gets the car when" or "I hope we can do something tomorrow, but if I don't hear from you by 10 AM then we'll need to choose another day." She does this quite a lot - not respond to an email or phone message. She has a lot of social anxiety so sometimes life is overwhelming to her. I get that way sometimes too about returning phone calls, so I get it, but I will at least email or FB. Maybe I'll try the let me know by X time. Thanks for the idea! |
|
