Post by cshoremom on Oct 26, 2016 10:24:21 GMT -5
It's ALMOST funny… Almost.It would be if it were not reality...
My 88 yr old aunt….
I am really trying my very very best to do what I can for her.I go a couple;e of days a week to visit and manage her meds, errands, set up appointments and care...
I pick up things she needs, and deliver them to her when I visit. She told me Monday she needed pads, she had a small stack left on Sunday when I was there, so I picked 2 packages up on Monday.
Yesterday I worked at school 7-2:30 and had a mental health certification class from 3-7:30.
I made dinner at 6 :30 in the morning so everyone could eat when they got home.
I did not visit her yesterday because I was working all day, and by 8 pm, she is ready for bed.
Today I have to take her to the Dr for a physical, so I will bring the pads then… She is ALMOST out… not quite… and when I called her this am, first thing she says is "I've been waiting for the pads.. I'm almost out".
I get it… she is 88 , almost 89…. she thinks about only what is going on with her…She must think I am just relaxing and taking my time getting her things she has on her list…
I am literally RUNNING constantly. Work, kids, appointments, paying her bills, managing her meds, refills and medical care, STILL emptying her house ( on 3rd 30 yard dumpster… )putting it on the market… have to work on that in my spare time (LOL), my Mom needs care too… and she is getting the very short end of the stick….. I am just spinning…. and I love her, but she literally calls daily with " I need xyz"… I just talked to you this morning… and you didn't know that them??? We have made a list of things I pick up for there and have asked her to look at it weekly and make me my list since my time is limited now with working more. She doesn't… Which is ok… It would be nice… but she is 88… Bu t my Mom is 87, and asks for NOTHING. Ever… I offer , but she hates to impose… And here is my Aunt… she calls with complaints only… I am out of this, I need my juice cap loosened, I need the ice cream in the freezer moved up ( it is the only thing in the freezer, and it is as near the front as it can get, but she is sooo helpless….. She is limited, physically, but CAN do more… She has people in and out all day ( VNA, PT and the aides that care for her in the assisted living place) and won't ask then to loosen the cap on the juice… ( I set it up for her in the fridge, pour half into an empty container so it is lighter, loosen the caps, and she still complains….)
Please forgive me for the petty complaints… It is just tiring and disheartening. You do your best, give 100% and it is still not enough...
I am taking her to the dr today… It's a process… wheelchair, walker ( she's very slow and very unsteady) Needs so much physical assistance… It's physically so taxing even for me,a 30 year RN…. The place takes her when the times are within their schedule…This one just couldn't be scheduled for them to take her in the wheelchair in the van…
my Mom always insists on coming to "help" me… I appreciate it so much…. she just wants to help… but it is more of a worry… she uses a cane and has a lot o knee pain… so I worry that she will fall… So DH had a talk with her and nicely told her that she had to stay home…. She just wants to help and insisted on making us dinner tonight at her house… She is so happy to be helping…. so I am happy too… That way we can all be there ( we see her a few times during the week and have dinner together every Sunday ) but she misses the kids during the week… DD goes and watches TV with her at least one evening a week if her lesson planning and college course allows.
Anyway… rambling on…..
Thanks for listening..
Please pray for me…, to have strength and MORE PATIENCE!
( it sounds petty but it's been over a year of demands and very little realization of how all of this is impacting my family) which makes me sad…. She isn't confused ( i think if she were I would handle it a lot better).
Thanks for listening to my whining! ( we should have cheese with all the whine I brought)
My 88 yr old aunt….
I am really trying my very very best to do what I can for her.I go a couple;e of days a week to visit and manage her meds, errands, set up appointments and care...
I pick up things she needs, and deliver them to her when I visit. She told me Monday she needed pads, she had a small stack left on Sunday when I was there, so I picked 2 packages up on Monday.
Yesterday I worked at school 7-2:30 and had a mental health certification class from 3-7:30.
I made dinner at 6 :30 in the morning so everyone could eat when they got home.
I did not visit her yesterday because I was working all day, and by 8 pm, she is ready for bed.
Today I have to take her to the Dr for a physical, so I will bring the pads then… She is ALMOST out… not quite… and when I called her this am, first thing she says is "I've been waiting for the pads.. I'm almost out".
I get it… she is 88 , almost 89…. she thinks about only what is going on with her…She must think I am just relaxing and taking my time getting her things she has on her list…
I am literally RUNNING constantly. Work, kids, appointments, paying her bills, managing her meds, refills and medical care, STILL emptying her house ( on 3rd 30 yard dumpster… )putting it on the market… have to work on that in my spare time (LOL), my Mom needs care too… and she is getting the very short end of the stick….. I am just spinning…. and I love her, but she literally calls daily with " I need xyz"… I just talked to you this morning… and you didn't know that them??? We have made a list of things I pick up for there and have asked her to look at it weekly and make me my list since my time is limited now with working more. She doesn't… Which is ok… It would be nice… but she is 88… Bu t my Mom is 87, and asks for NOTHING. Ever… I offer , but she hates to impose… And here is my Aunt… she calls with complaints only… I am out of this, I need my juice cap loosened, I need the ice cream in the freezer moved up ( it is the only thing in the freezer, and it is as near the front as it can get, but she is sooo helpless….. She is limited, physically, but CAN do more… She has people in and out all day ( VNA, PT and the aides that care for her in the assisted living place) and won't ask then to loosen the cap on the juice… ( I set it up for her in the fridge, pour half into an empty container so it is lighter, loosen the caps, and she still complains….)
Please forgive me for the petty complaints… It is just tiring and disheartening. You do your best, give 100% and it is still not enough...
I am taking her to the dr today… It's a process… wheelchair, walker ( she's very slow and very unsteady) Needs so much physical assistance… It's physically so taxing even for me,a 30 year RN…. The place takes her when the times are within their schedule…This one just couldn't be scheduled for them to take her in the wheelchair in the van…
my Mom always insists on coming to "help" me… I appreciate it so much…. she just wants to help… but it is more of a worry… she uses a cane and has a lot o knee pain… so I worry that she will fall… So DH had a talk with her and nicely told her that she had to stay home…. She just wants to help and insisted on making us dinner tonight at her house… She is so happy to be helping…. so I am happy too… That way we can all be there ( we see her a few times during the week and have dinner together every Sunday ) but she misses the kids during the week… DD goes and watches TV with her at least one evening a week if her lesson planning and college course allows.
Anyway… rambling on…..
Thanks for listening..
Please pray for me…, to have strength and MORE PATIENCE!
( it sounds petty but it's been over a year of demands and very little realization of how all of this is impacting my family) which makes me sad…. She isn't confused ( i think if she were I would handle it a lot better).
Thanks for listening to my whining! ( we should have cheese with all the whine I brought)
)
). You just really love so well. I'm completely in awe of you.
I do not feel at all amazing ( Lisa) But thank you… ;In fact, I feel just the opposite...… I am so weak sometimes… and let those feelings of frustration get to me… and I thank you for listening to me vent. I actually do not vent IRL, or even on Facebook… It feels like I am betraying my Aunt in some way to vent or complain in front of people that know her… And I do not intend to belittle her or complain about HER, just the frustration of the whole caregiving situation. So thanks for listening and letting me vent… and mostly f r praying. That means so much..