Laney
Mod Squad 
Posts: 1,738 
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Post by Laney on Sept 23, 2016 1:15:45 GMT -5
We aren't quite there yet but I really don't know where we are on dating and I definitely feel like we need to start coming up with some guidelines we plan to use. Older dd will be 15 in Feb (and we won't let her date then) but I do feel like it will start coming up. She is texting 1 guy right now and she really likes him (the feeling certainly appears to be mutual).
Dh and I both started dating at 16 and that feels pretty early to us now (especially since he was still 16 when we got engaged). I am pretty sure we'd prefer hanging out in groups even if there is a "special" person in the group.
So I'd love to hear how you've handled it, how your parents handled it (especially if you think they did a good job) and maybe even what you wish you'd done differently.
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Post by Elliefunt - Debbie on Sept 23, 2016 12:33:47 GMT -5
We haven't had to deal yet. Funny, I have an 18 yo dd too. She's always done the group outings thing. Too busy to get involved with a boy one on one. Maybe in college? Who knows. She's seriously picky and kind of hard to get along with. It will take a strong, strong man to handle that one. My 15 yo, I'm really surprised she hasn't brought up the subject. She's my social butterfly. She has a big group of friends (boys & girls) who all hang out together and do things. She's pretty snarky so I'm sure the boys don't like that. She also sees how her friends act and what they do when they have a boyfriend and she doesn't want to be tied down. My parents did not handle it at all. I started *dating* when I was in 7th grade. Of course dating was just smooching, holding hands and hanging out. I would strangle my girls if they had acted the way I did as a young tween/teen.  |
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Post by bronte73 on Sept 27, 2016 11:00:22 GMT -5
I didn't really have this issue with ds1. He hasn't ever really had a girlfriend or dated - although he hung out with one girl all last year as friends. My youngest hasn't really asked either. Part of that is they are both late drivers based on birthdays. I think for guys, they don't want their parents driving them on a date, kwim.  I will encourage casual dating, group dates - not getting serious in high school. But the heart wants what it wants and I'm not going to create a Romeo/Juliet scenario. I'm not a big fan of the whole courtship thing, personally. I know a lot of people who have done it, but it doesn't appeal to me as a parent. |
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lucy
Oldies but Goodies
Posts: 1,353
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Post by lucy on Sept 27, 2016 16:07:39 GMT -5
A very nice woman w/ kids older then mine gave me this advice: "never dislike a boyfriend/girlfriend, because your kids might hang on to them in spite, and - also never like them too much.....kids might get rid of them"
I found this to be very true. When my kids began dating....there were some friends I thought were just wonderful......and couldn't figure out why my kids didn't date this one or that one.....only later to find out that person had a side i really didn't know or see...
maybe having to deal w/ smoking or drugs, or an unchristian like attitude......so I very early decided that i would leave the dating up to the kids....and not play match maker.
I have seen so many parents get WAY TOO involved in their children's dating life.....
When I talked to my sons' about who to date........i would sing "red, and yellow, black, and white, and add, green, purple, blue and orange"....race doesn't matter, please find a christian....and we would discuss being unequally yoked.
My son's have dated some very nice girls.....some nice girls who were CRAZY, and some that I didn't care for at all....
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