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Post by citylights on Jan 13, 2015 0:02:28 GMT -5
ha!
I should make my questions a FQOTD thing, I guess.
I'm just full of questions tonight.
So ..... when you & dh began dating, was HE looking to date casually, or did he have marriage on his mind?
Both my my girls are dating.
With K & J, the relationship started out as casual dating (for him), and after a few months they broke up (reasons unrelated to this).
About a year later they got back together .... and now both of them, this time around, are dating to marry.
While they are not engaged, they will be eventually.
Dd has made it clear that she will not marry until they are both finished with college.
I'm sure that he probably feels the same.
I AM concerned that they might want to move in together. I don't like that idea.
Should be interesting because dh will definitely have something to say about that.
I don't know if dd would follow thru on it or not, knowing that we do not support it.
Me ... she'd cross me. But not sure that she would cross her dad.
Other dd .... B & R are dating.
Dd is definitely interested in dating to marry.
I think R is, although I'm not exactly sure.
We've entered a new phase in this family.
Interesting.
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Laney
Mod Squad 
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Post by Laney on Jan 13, 2015 0:15:07 GMT -5
I'm not sure what dh was thinking when we started dating. He probably was not looking for a wife (he was 16)& I was definitely in it for something casual.
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Post by kidsandpets on Jan 13, 2015 0:45:33 GMT -5
During our friendship time, I was NOT looking (in fact, I was never looking - I never planned on being married ever!) During that time, he was desiring but I'm not sure if he was actively looking (I don't think he was.) But when he asked me to date him, there was nothing casual about it. His asking me to date him came after him spending much time seeking God about it. Separately, as our friendship had been changing, I had been seeking God about it too (there's actually a funny story in here about how God woke me up to what He was doing but it is for a different thread  ). Anyway, he asked me to date him and I agreed only because we both believed God was taking us toward marriage. Neither of us had ever dated before. We were each others first and only dates. |
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jdpudge
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by jdpudge on Jan 13, 2015 7:29:44 GMT -5
I found Dh particularly interesting b/c he was one of the few guys that was focused on finding the right girl to marry. Not "right then"... but he felt the whole purpose of courting/dating 1:1 was to find that person... and once you knew the person you were dating/courting was NOT that person, then you needed to let them go. I'd felt the same since way BEFORE being old enough to go out, so that was refreshing.
DH wasn't "eager to marry"... in fact, he figured he wouldn't marry until he was 30 (we met when he was 22)... but he was ONLY going to court somebody if he felt the Lord was leading him to that person to marry.
Fwiw, Dh was VERY popular with the girls... both in high school & college... he just didn't do "tons" of 1:1 dating. |
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Post by mamamunchkin on Jan 13, 2015 7:36:58 GMT -5
He wasn't casually dating around when we were set up. He hadn't really dated very many people since high school.
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Post by Elliefunt - Debbie on Jan 13, 2015 7:45:29 GMT -5
It was apparent that dh was looking for a long-term relationship. Marriage didn't come up for quite awhile.
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Post by sandwichmaker on Jan 13, 2015 8:08:51 GMT -5
I haven't asked him but I would have to say no. I don't think either of us were in any way planning to get together....it just happened. We were in college.
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lucy
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by lucy on Jan 13, 2015 9:31:55 GMT -5
probably not. we were both 18. i know i wasn't looking for a husband
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mdebbie
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by mdebbie on Jan 13, 2015 9:34:40 GMT -5
Neither of us ever casually dated anyone.
Personally I have never understood dating not for the purpose of marrying. But dh and I didn't really date, as in going on dates. We were good friends who got really close, until we mutually realized that we knew we were more than friends. I say we started dating from the point that we had a conversation stating that "something more was going on" but he never actually asked me out. We just started spending lots of time together.
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erinjo
Mod Squad
His steadfast love is better than life!
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Post by erinjo on Jan 13, 2015 9:35:34 GMT -5
We both knew when we started dating that we were dating with intent to marry.
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Post by Madrede3 on Jan 13, 2015 18:47:19 GMT -5
Neither of us were looking for a spouse. Neither of us were interested in dating at the time either.
Dh and I were in Hobby Lobby the other day (bless him), and he brought a sign to me and told me it was exactly how it happened for him.
It read, "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." William Shakespeare.
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Post by Flautista on Jan 13, 2015 19:00:15 GMT -5
No, he wasn't looking for a wife when we met nor when we started to date. Considering how long we dated and were engaged (as stated in your previous thread), it might surprise you to learn that it didn't take us very long at all to fall in love and to start talking about marriage.
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Post by LisainMN on Jan 13, 2015 20:43:01 GMT -5
He was 18. I don't think he was looking for a wife. Surprise!!
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Post by footballbella on Jan 14, 2015 21:30:56 GMT -5
my hubby wasn't even looking to DATE ME let alone fall in love with me and marry me 6 years after we met! When I met my dh he just wanted buddies to hang around, talk sports, and play video games. I only got "in" his group because I could talk football. Took a while for him to notice I was a hot chick to date too (lol) Once we started dating and falling in love I think he then saw me as his future wife. I already knew from the second I met him (at age 15 at my first real job) that he was going to be my husband someday.
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Post by rebeccca01 on Jan 15, 2015 20:19:13 GMT -5
Neither of us were looking for a spouse. Neither of us were interested in dating at the time either. Dh and I were in Hobby Lobby the other day (bless him), and he brought a sign to me and told me it was exactly how it happened for him. It read, "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." William Shakespeare. Oh my word, that is just so incredibly romantic, Madre. Said jealously from someone whose husband, when I thought he was asking me to marry him (at a restaurant) inquired "Are you ready?". I coyly (lol) responded "Ready for what?". "For the ring" , he answered, and voila! ...... he produced the NAPKIN RING from the table.   He ended up asking me later, somewhere else.  Mine hubby isn't romantic in the traditional sense, but he's just right for me. |
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). Anyway, he asked me to date him and I agreed only because we both believed God was taking us toward marriage.
