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Post by countrygrl112 on Jan 12, 2015 21:05:45 GMT -5
Because I totally love spending my anniversary alone because my DH has been angry at the world for 6 weeks now and had yet another temper tantrum that ended with him asleep by 7:30 after storming off to the bedroom.
*sigh*
Prayers that I can finally convince him to to talk with our pastor. This is not an acceptable way to handle stress. You just can't be angry all the time to the point that every stupid little things bugs you.
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Post by Januinely~me on Jan 12, 2015 21:07:51 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, Julie.  Praying for you and your dh.  |
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Kinsa
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by Kinsa on Jan 12, 2015 21:08:29 GMT -5
Oh dear. That doesn't bode well, does it? I'm sorry. I hope you can find some peace tonight. |
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erinjo
Mod Squad 
His steadfast love is better than life!
Posts: 1,071
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Post by erinjo on Jan 12, 2015 21:13:24 GMT -5
Aw, Julie, I'm so sorry. ((((hugs)))) |
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Post by sandwichmaker on Jan 12, 2015 21:26:10 GMT -5
I'm sorry. I was just telling dh today that I feel true and lasting love has less to do with seeking after happiness, etc. and more to do with endurance and loyalty. Whether it be our children or our spouses....loving when it is anguishing, when our hearts are bleeding or bruised and battered feeling....that is the test. Sorry this is where you are now and it is ESPECIALLY hard considering it is your anniversary! I am sorry. I am praying for you to have peace. I have been there time and time again and I know the Lord can give you peace....this is my prayer for you! Also praying for dh too!
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Post by kidsandpets on Jan 12, 2015 21:35:58 GMT -5
Praying for both of you |
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Kim
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by Kim on Jan 12, 2015 21:44:33 GMT -5
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cshoremom
Mod Squad
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Posts: 4,170
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Post by cshoremom on Jan 12, 2015 22:06:09 GMT -5
I am so sorry! I think your DH talking to your pastor is a good idea! I'll pray he is willing to do that... I think an Anniversary re-do is in order when he is feeling better about his stress. You've all been under such stress with big medical issues the past several weeks. Out of the ordinary stress, I am willing to bet... I will pray for you and your DH!  |
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yakky
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by yakky on Jan 12, 2015 23:02:34 GMT -5
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Post by rebeccca01 on Jan 13, 2015 2:04:44 GMT -5
Aww, I'm so sorry, Julie.
Prayers for you at 2 am EST.
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Post by countrygrl112 on Jan 13, 2015 7:53:32 GMT -5
I am so sorry! I think your DH talking to your pastor is a good idea! I'll pray he is willing to do that... I think an Anniversary re-do is in order when he is feeling better about his stress. You've all been under such stress with big medical issues the past several weeks. Out of the ordinary stress, I am willing to bet... I will pray for you and your DH! I understand the stress. I really do. But it's been 6 weeks. Time to let it go and find a better way of handling it. I've been nice and supportive this whole time. I think changing tactics might be in order. DH often handles bluntness very well. I feel like I'm lashing out/being mean but he actually handles the "2x4 to the head" method well most the time. It's almost like he needs the figurative slap across the face to calm down. I was just so angry and frustrated last night I slept on the sofa. I did not want to be touched and he is a snuggly sleeper. I'm also hoping that without me coughing half the night next to him, a full night's sleep will help his attitude. He just can't take his stress out on DD and me anymore. He struggles with the toddler-phase of life anyway and the boundary pushing. And the over-tired induced naughtiness when she skips a nap. He isn't violent or anything and tries not to yell at her but he just sits there and fumes until he finally explodes later over something stupid. Like last night. He's angry at work, he's angry at the car situation, he's angry about the medical stuff, he's angry that he's always angry. He's just plain angry. I'm going to talk to him tonight about going to see our pastor. He needs to talk to someone. |
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lucy
Oldies but Goodies
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Post by lucy on Jan 13, 2015 9:35:27 GMT -5
my dh would be totally mad that i talked to someone else about what i think of as a temper tantrum - and he saw it as blowing off smoke.
maybe you could help figure out the problem and aid in that fashion....stress from work, or bills, or health, or other relationships? midlife crisis...thinking others are more successful or in shape or richer, etc? (i had a friend who's husband went through a major crisis yrs ago....it nearly ruined their marriage).....something else?
i have a plaque on my wall that says : choose thy love, love thy choice. start doing small things for him, maybe he won't even notice, but eventually, maybe it will help calm him down so he can share what's bothering him
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Post by countrygrl112 on Jan 14, 2015 11:56:39 GMT -5
DH apologized and brought my flowers last night. He started the talk. I already knew what the problem was but he finally admitted he hasn't been handling the stress properly. His task this week is to truly think of a way that DD and I can help instead of answering the question in either a defeated way or screaming, "I don't know" at me.
I know a large portion of it has been that work has been a horrible place for a year now but we haven't found him the way out yet. There isn't much around here for him and the bank already denied our loan for a skidder so he could get back to logging.
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Post by kidsandpets on Jan 14, 2015 12:00:22 GMT -5
DH apologized and brought my flowers last night. He started the talk. I already knew what the problem was but he finally admitted he hasn't been handling the stress properly. His task this week is to truly think of a way that DD and I can help instead of answering the question in either a defeated way or screaming, "I don't know" at me. I know a large portion of it has been that work has been a horrible place for a year now but we haven't found him the way out yet. There isn't much around here for him and the bank already denied our loan for a skidder so he could get back to logging. Sounds like at least going in the right direction now. |
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cshoremom
Mod Squad
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Posts: 4,170
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Post by cshoremom on Jan 14, 2015 12:22:56 GMT -5
DH apologized and brought my flowers last night. He started the talk. I already knew what the problem was but he finally admitted he hasn't been handling the stress properly. His task this week is to truly think of a way that DD and I can help instead of answering the question in either a defeated way or screaming, "I don't know" at me. I know a large portion of it has been that work has been a horrible place for a year now but we haven't found him the way out yet. There isn't much around here for him and the bank already denied our loan for a skidder so he could get back to logging. I think you are a great wife, asking HOW you can help, having him think of a way you can help… That is , in turn, helping him... Many wives, myself included, would have a hard time not wallowing in anger and hurt feelings... Continued prayers for you!! |
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